Ralph Wiggum

Ralph Wiggum

These are quotes I found online all stated by RALPH. Ralph Wiggum is an amazing character on the simpsons

"And when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life."

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

Ralph: My parents won't let me use scissors. (class laughs)
Ms. Hoover: The children are right to laugh, Ralph. These scissors couldn't cut butter.

Ralph: Can you open my milk, Mommy?
Hoover: I'm not mommy, Ralph. I'm Ms. Hoover.

"Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!" (to Superintendent Chalmers)

"Wheee! ...ow, I bit my tongue!"

"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

Ralph: "Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent."
Ms. Hoover: "Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?"
Ralph: "He was going to the bathroom."

Ralph: "Miss Hoover? The floor is shaking."
Ms. Hoover: "Ralph, remember the time you thought the --"
[gusher explodes through the ceiling, taking Ralph with it]

"When I grow up, I'm going to bovine university!"

"I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant."

"Was president Lincoln okay?"

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."

"When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar."

"It tastes like ... burning"

"Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever."

Ralph: And I want a bike and a monkey and... a friend for the monkey.
Hosey the Fire Safety Bear: But you're not going to start any fires, are you little boy?
Ralph: At my house, we call them 'Uh-Oh's.'

"Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!"

I bent my wookie.

The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there

Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants."
Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son."

I found a moonrock in my nose!

RALPH: Ms. Hoover, the movie's over
LISA: Where's Ms. Hoover?
GIRL: Hey, her car is gone
RALPH: Maybe she drove to the moon

RALPH: I'm pedaling backwards

RALPH: Dear Miss Hoover, you have Lyme disease. We miss you. Kevin is biting me. Come back soon. Here's a drawing of a spirokeet. Love Ralph

MISS HOOVER: Now, take out your red crayons
RALPH: Miss Hoover?
MISS HOOVER: Yes Ralph?
RALPH: I don't have a red crayon
MISS HOOVER: Why not?
RALPH: I ate it

RALPH: Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulders

RALPH: My face is on fire

PRINCIPAL SKINNER: And now with a flute up his nose,
Ralph Wiggum
RALPH: *toot*
CHIEF WIGGUM: That's some nice flutin' boy

RALPH: Miss Hoover?
MISS HOOVER: Yes Ralph what is it?
RALPH: My worm went in my mouth and I then ate it, can I have another one?
MISS HOOVER: No Ralph there aren't anymore. Just try to sleep while the other children are learning
RALPH: Oh boy Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!

RALPH: I eat Legos!

Cop: Now who is Lisa Simpson?

RALPH: Lisa is a girl in my class..........my daddy shoots people

RALPH: Can Lisa come out........with her hands up?

RALPH: Princekimmer Skimple... Primable Skimster... I, I found something!!!!
TOWNSPEOPLE: ahh.... what, what?
LISA: AHHH
RALPH: It's a spearhead!!!
MISS HOOVER: That's your trowel blade Ralph. It fell off the handle
RALPH: And I found it!

FLANDERS: Ok, Nelson's our quarterback
NELSON: Thanks 4-eyes
FLANDERS: Ralph, you'll be on special teams
RALPH: I'm special!

MISS HOOVER: I need a volunteer to present an oral report on Principal Skinner's life
RALPH: Miss Hoover? Which one is oral?
MISS HOOVER: Out of your mouth Ralph

MISS HOOVER: Volunteers?..... thank you Lisa
RALPH: No Miss Hoover, I'm Ralph

MISS HOOVER: I only need ONE volunteer Ralph!
RALPH: Miss Hoover? Which one is one?
LISA: Ralph and I could do the report together
MISS HOOVER: It's your funeral